I recycle, have cut my meat intake and don’t have kids. And now I have to care about the environment more than ever

I find the environment and the climate emergency the most boring topic on the (burning) planet. When people talk about it, it makes me wish that the planet would succumb sooner rather than later, so I didn’t have to hear one more word about plastic straws and recycling. I flunked my geology exam on purpose, because studying for it was hell. When I see the images of little polar bears on melting ice, I feel nothing.

Once, I posted a clip on Instagram from a documentary I made where I threw a set of scales into a lake to make a point about diet culture. The entire internet was enraged until I posted another video of the producer diving into the lake to pick it up again.

It’s so dull: nature, plastic, CO2, whatever. Fortunately, I don’t have to find something fascinating in order to do it. I don’t feel particularly excited about my laundry, but I do it because I have to. In the same way, I recycle because it’s better to recycle than not to. I have cut my meat intake. I have decided to never have kids (which has nothing to do with the climate, though I’ll happily pretend it does) and I vote with the environment in mind.

My attitude is my way of dealing with being utterly petrified by the overwhelming truth of the climate emergency – my brain dismisses it as “boring”. I still do (some of) the work, but I complain about having to do it.

So I really hate that, right now, I have to care about it more than ever. But I also hate burning to death, which will happen next summer, when it will be 65C, so I’d better buy one of those tiny brushes to clean my bamboo straws.

Sofie Hagen is a writer and comedian

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